Twitter, the first ten days.

I tried to stay away. Really, I swear I simply am not that keen on sharing 140 character thoughts, notions and witticisms...but frankly, for better or worse, it appears that one is increasingly considered out of touch technologically if one is not tweeting, blogging and doing whatever the hell it is you do on Facebook. Particularly if you are in marketing, which certainly is part of what I do. So I got a Twitter account recently, and have been gently dipping my toes in the swirling chaos of millions of little thoughts.

A few observations:

At first I was puzzled why so many tweets were in initial caps. What was it about writing a tweet that inspired tweet authors to write like journalists of old with screaming headlines? Um, nothing, it turns out. The truth came to me when I decided to comment on an article from the New York Times -- most sites "prompt" you to tweet by offering the headline as tweet.  How thoughtful -- should I not care to craft a witty insight of my own I can just use what they provide. Easy!

Second, I was fascinated by the number of folks who always appeared to looking off the side (generally the viewer's right, so as to look as tho they are gazing lovingly at their tweet). This particularly seemed to be the case for what appeared to be professional, or business folk. This in fact inspired one of my early tweets, which I will repeat here (which is the point, isn't it?):

"New study shows 3 out of 4 twitter users unable to stare directly at camera."

Still makes me giggle.

Now, here's the thing I still don't really get -- most tweeting is simply retransmitting what smarter, more informed people have already written elsewhere. And generally, as noted above, with little added insight, other than reinforcing whatever beliefs that person already has.  Which is fine, I guess, but certainly makes much noise to filter thru, especially if you follow people with similar interests, as they are all tweeting and retweeting the same damn thing. 

What Twitter has motivated me to do is seek out people who are amply capable of making witty and clever statements worth reading. So far I have found Sarah Silverman to be worth reading, as well as The Onion (whose use of initial caps is perfectly acceptable).  Admittedly, I have not sought out too many others yet, but I am saddened (but respect them even more) by those who have chosen not to tweet, like John Waters (just the film maker from Baltimore, please) -- but I bet if he did they'd be particularly clever.

On a final note, it appears the dead are prolific tweeters.  Kurt Vonnegut has been active lately (and kudos to him, he only chooses to "follow" one single person -- Mark Twain), and you know what, when his writing is broken down into snippets and doled out one at a time -- it really works, but only because he was such a damn good writer in the first place.

The best advice I can give a first time entrepreneur

You will not get venture funding. Stop wasting your time. If you can't come up with an idea that leads directly to paying customers, go get a job. Do not max out your credit cards, do not borrow from friends and family.

The truth is, if this is your first venture, and you have never raised capital before, you will not get funding. While it is especially true today, it was mostly true since the bubble burst. Now, VCs will not tell you this as they like to stay relevant and informed and will indeed take meetings to learn about you. And of course, they are happy to offer all kinds of advice. But do not let them give you hope – they will not ever consider investing in you, at least not until you have more than proven yourself (and no, not one or two customers, but many, and much revenue).

Now ask yourself, do you have the resources to build your product, get someone to buy it the first time (and by buy, I mean pay enough to sustain you, not a token fee for a “pilot”), and stay afloat long enough until that next sale comes along? No? Then forget enterprise software. You'd probably fail anyway, big businesses tend to be risk adverse and rely on trusted relationships. So unless you have a partnership with IBM, Microsoft, Accenture, etc., you'll never close a deal (tho they will waste much of your time as they too are curious about new technology – they just won't buy it from you).

So what's left? How about software as a service? If you're a geek with a good idea (like solving a problem small businesses may have but they cannot afford to hire an FTE to manage), then building a cloud/subscription based service could give you a way to bootstrap. Tho if you are a geek you may not be particularly savvy at sales and marketing. But hell, you can figure out that stuff by reading a book. Watch out for small business marketing consultants and specialists. If they were any good at what they did they would be charging top dollar working for big businesses. Actually, that advice applies anyone who wants to “help” you, particularly if it involves retainers. They can be expensive and distracting, and rarely produce.

So, to summarize – if you really feel you have to start your own venture, save up, aim small, and expect to fail, tho you will learn much along the way. Good luck!